Why You Should Ask Yourself Why When it Comes to Your Drinking

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I can hear it now; ‘Not another sanctimonious, self-interested, holier-than-thou article from some former alcoholic’.

In some ways, there may be some truth to that. But I want to ask, what do we really mean when we call someone an ‘alcoholic’? And when does someone formally become one? When they enter AA? If they drink every day? If someone tells them they should stop?

Alcoholism is a label. And as soon as you’ve been given that label, the judgment begins; you and those around you are aware you have a problem. Others shouldn’t be embarrassed if you have to decline their offer of coming round to watch the game with a few beers, for example. Everyone can assume that you no longer drink because when you do, bad things tend to happen. And for the sake of yourself and those around you, you have decided to ‘get clean’, ‘sober-up’ and ‘go back on the wagon’.

But what also arrives is a huge social stigma. This is why I believe there is a distinct problem with this way of thinking; it suggests someone either has a problem with alcohol or that they don’t. Yet in reality, we all know the issue is far more complex and nuanced than this. For instance, how many of us stick rigidly to the two-units-per-day for men and one-drink-per-day for women, with no deviation?

Drinking, partying and pill-popping was a way of life for Generation X. In the 1980s and certainly 1990s, we grew up transfixed by mass hedonism and a party lifestyle. It was in our music, our movies, our culture. Perhaps our generation needed it to be? Our parents were the first or their kind to divorce in a mass, socially acceptable way — where many of them had been pushed together by societal and familial pressures — and it left their offspring (us) as ‘latch-key’ kids, sometimes with little supervision, attention or sense of purpose. By our teens, we became rebels, out to enjoy ourselves and live for the moment.

So now that we’ve all grown up and started our own families, we watch our own children grow into young people, just like we were. And thank goodness the new generations coming up focus their time on more enlightened modes of being: healthy living, veganism, environmentalism, making strong social connections. Across all corners of the globe, young people are drinking less than ever before, and that’s a good thing.

But for those of us who have reached or are already well into our middle-age, the unhealthy drinking habits we had as youngsters may have continued to spill into our adult habits. And not only that, the years of heavy or binge drinking and/or drug-taking in our teens, twenties or even thirties may have caused our bodies and brains significant, irreparable damage.

So now that we live in an age of enlightenment when younger people are living more consciously about their health, we should surely be asking ourselves why any of us even feel the need to drink. And I’m not just referring to the heavy or regular drinkers, but to everyone.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study began in an obesity clinic in the 1980s when their leading physician couldn’t fathom why half of his clients were dropping out of the program. He decided to dig deeper, which resulted in some surprising outcomes and the development of a new model of analysis.

What he realized is that many of his client’s problems stemmed from a deeply ingrained emotional response to the traumatic experiences they faced in childhood. In other words, they over-ate to numb the pain of unresolved childhood traumas.

This realization led to a simple system of analysis (or ACE Scores) used to determine the level of adversity faced childhood and directly link these causes to the potential health risks a person may face in adulthood. In other words, the worse time you had as a kid, the higher the likelihood you’ll have health problems as an adult. Bear in mind, this measure wasn’t on things like losing a football game, or not getting the bike you wanted for Christmas, but significantly impactful emotional and physical incidences you experienced during your most vulnerable, formative years.

And when you think about it this makes sense. As adults we are trying to function in a society that expects us to get on with things, to enjoy ourselves and ‘loosen up’. When in reality there could well be many deeply hidden emotional wounds that require healing before we can be expected to live out the expectations of society. Instead, as human we numb the pain; with food, with sex, with television, with alcohol. Even social media.

I want you to ask yourself – why am I drinking? Or maybe, why am I drinking more than two units per day? Why am I pushing my body to extreme limits and risking my health?

You may take the ACE score and realize you didn’t face any traumas as a kid. However, recent data suggests the majority of people will score at least one. Regardless of your ACE score levels, you must be honest with yourself about it is that you get from a drink. Is it more than just ‘to relax’? Or could it be to distract yourself from resolving something that happened a very long time ago.

Of course, life is complex. There are no simple answers or solutions. But if you can become more conscious of your actions, you may just make peace with the past and live your best life.

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